darn it

freaking wait-listed by johns hopkins darn please wish me luck luck luck luck luck luck luck luck luck luck i have only few options at hand now how should i play or should i just leave the table i am so hesitant and anxious about the only pending grad program which has been the last among all the others the decision should come out  this week freaking week but i am still waiting why is it so slow i am literally panicking over the result now because others' decisions have broken my heart and it is too weak to be torn apart again seriously i have no expectation now since i am almost ready for the worst situation am i how i wish all other admitted applicants would go to other programs and leave enough space for me to be not on the wait list but an enrolled ma student arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh luckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk