《爆料》我的八卦！

近來

大家都紛紛問我的八卦

不管是間接的問某某某，或是直接問我......

我都很害羞

然後今天散打課考期末考

怎麼考呢？

就是在柔道教室中間那個紅色方塊範圍裡，兩個一組出來PK-- 清大散打王的意思

老師會看大家的出招動作有沒有標準、摔人技巧有沒有用對、腳步移動有沒有到位，等等等。

至於KO對方的人，期末成績無條件100分通過！！！

我就在和Estell在等待上場的同時，Estell問我我有沒有八卦

E：「ㄟ，我都跟妳爆料_____的，Karina妳有沒有affairs？」

K：「（害羞地搖了搖頭）」

E：「我自己的就這樣，也沒什麼好爆料的，妳有沒有八卦啦？」

K：「（內心科科笑中，但外表還是害羞地沉默狀）」

注意喔，重點來了！！！！

E：「像Karina妳那麼漂亮怎麼會沒有八卦？」

K：「（內心爽翻天，但外表還是害羞地微笑）」（這種時候我做什麼已經不重要了）

害羞地微笑 >////< 之示意圖

唉唉唉～～～ 要有什麼八卦呢？

我在清大認識的且熟的男的用手指都數的出來～～

大學頭兩年的光陰裡是在社團裡打滾；而我的社團就是馬術社囉～～～

馬術社都是女生呀～～ 男女比就跟系上的男女比一樣～～～十個人裡面只有兩個是男的

馬鞍一顆好幾公斤照樣扛來扛去、夏天待在馬廄裡清馬糞、在馬背上奔馳的刺激感和速度感～～～～ 兩年內我們女生可都個個當男生用的！

網球打的比清大平均男性好很多、籃球打的更是女中豪傑

足球也踢的比清大平均男性好、羽球更可以左右兩手使用

巾幗不讓鬚眉之敏敏特穆爾也！（？）

（怎麼越講越有點小悲傷 OQ）

系上都是女生、宿舍也都是女生、社團也都是女生、人社院餐廳裡也都是女生

就連志工團裡面，也都是女生！

十個人裡面也只有兩個男的！

簡直就是待在男校裡的女生班！！！

然後本人又是臭臉族的 ㄎㄎ

臭臉族出正妹，您看看、您看看，Eva Green不笑的時候臉也超臭的！還有日本妹澤尻英龍華，不視也臭臉聞名嗎？

所以囉，我八成是命中刻陽吧 ＝ ＝

連在清交男生多到爆炸的地方都可以單身這麼久，我也不知道是不是命運待我如此不薄呢？

所以如果是被我標題騙進來的人，嘿嘿嘿，很抱歉這裡沒有任何八卦唷～～～！;)

喔喔喔，還有，上面剛剛說的散打課考試方法也是騙人的啦

最好是有清大散打王的PK賽 ＝ ＝

唉，雖然我好希望有唷！像25號去潔得家開趴時，丁鼎一直提到的「外語舒壓派對」，我就覺得用擂台方式超好的！！！

像是（比基尼）熱油摔角，或是（比基尼）泥漿摔角

男性入場先通通收入場費五百塊！

豈不是賺翻囉？？！

然後在邀幾個搏擊社壯男（或顧專業猛男）來表演一下，超嗨嗨嗨嗨耶！！

泥漿在那邊灑、潑啊；油在那邊噴！！

天啊天啊天啊，場邊還有啤酒！直接拿起來淋啦（啤酒濕T-shirt大賽）！！！！

好嗨好嗨好嗨，一想到這我暑氣全消、冷意全來啦！！！

咳咳，離題

所以說到底，我是沒八卦啦 嘖

我要求不高，只要身高175以上、有才華或興趣相符、外表乾淨斯文 / 粗曠皆可唷～～

馬的，搞得我好像在這邊徵友或相親....

幹，老娘沒八卦啦！...

鳩咪 愛你唷

可千萬別被嚇著呢～～～ ;)

James Morrison - Love Is Hard

I see lovers in the streets walking,
without a care.
They're wearing out loud
like there's something in the air
Oooooh, and i don't care

They're treading lightly
No they, don't sink in
There's no tracks to follow
they don't care where they going
hmm

And if they're lucky and they'll,
they'll get to see and if they're
really really lucky they'll
get to feel..

And it kicks so hard,
it breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know,
That love is hard.

Love takes hostages,
gives them pain.
gives someone the power to
hurt you again and again
oooh, but they don't care

And if they're lucky and they'll,
they'll get to see and if they're
really really lucky they'll
they'll get to feel.
And if they're, they're truly blessed
and they're get to believe
and if you're dammed, you'll never
let yourself be diseased.

And it kicks so hard,
it breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know,
That love is hard.

Hmmmmmmm...

Kicks so hard,
it breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that we know..

And it kicks so hard,
it breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
And makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know,
That love is hard..

love is hard, love is hard.

If it was easy,
it wouldn't mean nothing tough.

幹你媽

哈囉你好嗎～？

幹你媽，我不好！

幹幹幹！

把頭剁掉比較快！

我必須在期末來臨之前振作，幹！

最近到底是在衝啥小啦？！幹幹！

Blue Foundation - Bonfires

Perfection of Electronica!!!

Sweet Dreams

Sweet dreams are made of these.
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas.
Everybody's looking for something.

Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused.

I wanna use you and abuse you.
I wanna know what's inside you.

Hold your head up, movin' on.
Keep your head up, movin' on.

Movin' on!

Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused.

I'm gonna use you and abuse you.
I'm gonna know what's inside.
Gonna use you and abuse you.

I'm gonna know what's inside you.

3

Days

That's the number I've spent on

3 nights

It's fucking

Vivid

The heart beats

The weight

The warmth

The touch

The smell

The vibration

of 2

loners'

hearts

looking 4

consolation

&

love.

Insecurity makes us all blind.

2 desperate ants

holding tight on

drifting logs

in fear of waves roaring & rolling them out & into the depth of

n

o

w

h

e

r

e

The Duke Spirit - Cuts Across The Land (new version)

那顆頭有伊藤潤二的感覺！！！

警告：以下畫面因內容需要而予以保留

（幹，哪有人警告和圖片放這麼近的？！）

XD

有齁有齁有齁？

超像的！

戒

翹課

晚睡

FB

無法專心

你

你

你 你

你

還有

你

真想喝茫茫、睡搞搞

希望濃睡能消殘酒......

可惜他媽的今天早上要上新聞英文，我作業一個屁都還沒寫、小考也沒準備

人能照著欲望走就好了

可惜我不行

我這個

笨蛋！

幹幹幹幹幹幹幹幹！

好難過！！！！！！

誰快拿把刀過來把的胸膛剖開，

把我的心掏出來！

Fuck me!!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!

It's so fucking painful....................................................................

I wanna cry but I just can't cry..................................................................

If I could cry,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I would cry tears of blood,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Because it is the weeping of my heart........................................

媽的，我超想在馬賽的海灘上裸奔......

What the fuck?

It's not related at all...

Idiot...

我只能抱著我的肝和我的心在角落哭泣

我的肝和我的心

肝心和乾心

一點都不他媽的就甘心耶捏！

幹！！！

Beauty Compensates All

Beauty. Everything is about Beauty.

Here I mean the Beauty of an individual, their existence. The existence includes not only superficiality, but also the innermost-- The mind. The wisdom. The talent.

The core and the root of being a human, a unique being and humanity like no other.

That is the Beauty. That redeems all. That saves all.

Wisdom compensates the appeared flaws. Talents compensate my discontent.

The most dull thing in the world is to converse with a person of plain knowledge. It perhaps because they are from the other world, the place where you have never been to-- their growing backgrounds and experiences. That is hard to blame.

But the more I see, the harder I can be satisfied.

"Sorrow is knowledge: they who know the most must mourn the deepest o'er the fatal truth, the Tree of Knowledge is not that of Life."-- Byron (from "Manfred")

Talents-- the beauty of the utmost humanity, may shines through the plainness.

But, woe, how often we feel helpless to find the existence of such a being,

how often we feel distressed to seek for understandings and similarity among others.

I am lost.

I am a walker or loner from the galaxy of nowhere...

Woe, woe, woe.

Woe for my suspense and cowardice. Woe for my uncertainty.

Woe for myself as a paradoxical being.

Sorrow possesses me.

I am lost, totally.

Mentally chaos occupies my emptied head. I wander as a cloud, formed by vapor and transformed by wind. How I wish I could really be a cloud, so be liberated, so be eased.

Perhaps I must be a proud, wild wolf, dwelling desolately and observing everlastingly.

I bite.

I howl.

I wounded,

and I also cry.

Little Adjustment Makes Perfection

無語奔流

何處是兒家？

Router

"Mountains never meet, but people do."-- Tanzanian Proverb

Neverland

"Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours."

有人要找我開個展了嗎？還是要買我的照片？

科科科科 XD Idiotic..

Little Adjustment Makes Perfection

睡吧，不要哭了

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet and your day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, or paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face it's all wet 'cause our days were rough
So do what you must do to fill that hole
Wear another shoe to comfort the soul
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I feel I will...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face it's all wet 'cause my day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, or paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I hope I find a place where I feel I belong

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face is all wet 'cause my day was rough

So it is...

The coming of Christmas.

I ain't Christian but Buddhist.

Go and check it out how's it like.

Crowd-phobia. Strangers-phobia.

I ain't frigging kidding but am bloody sincere.

Tiresome. Tiresome of pretense. Tiresome of superficiality.

Try to give it another new shot. I don't give it a damn, dude, bro, sis, whateva.

Little food. Little alcohol.

Lots of people. Lots of male.

A modern jungle of noise and smell.

Fever. Fever of what?

Fever of crowding craze.

Swing limbs. Whirl fringe of fabrics.

The intention is dubious. The feeling is out there.

Almost bored. Almost starved. Almost scarred to heat and death.

But still perceptive stimulation stings everywhere. Try to be numb.

Feel. Smell. Hear. Tear. Wander as a loner or walker from the galaxy of nowhere.

Some confession. Some protection.

Much sentiment. Much element.

An ecstatic jungle of gossip and rumor.

What is left? What is done?

What is still out there for me to fond?

What is the thing still left here for me to crown?

Stream of conscious. Not the stream of conscience.

Fluid. Solid. Airy. Pieces of self dissolved, depicted, and destroyed.

Situation. Expectation. Comprehension. Anticipation. Sensation. Hesitation.

Be an observer of environment & serene inner. Don't ask. Don't tell. But wait & watch.

Few followers. Few readers.

Many assumptions. Many interpretations.

A texty jungle of the hidden and the forbidden.

Scarce subscriptions. Scarce comments.

Many clicks. Many visits.

A crappy jungle lacks of communications & interactions!

Crossroad

第一次意識到我的人生竟如此徬徨；第一次感覺到我面臨人生交叉路上；

第一次發現自己決擇之困難

到頭來，我發現我連自己喜歡什麼都不知道，因為喜歡的太多。我無法割捨。

每個選項都是塊可口的蛋糕...... 愛吃的我該如何取捨？

這是貪婪嗎？

若每個事物的存在都是美的本質，我又該怎麼選擇？

雖然要2012年才會畢業，但我所剩的時間不多了。內心想說走上學術這條路、當教授也不錯，但心中總會忘不掉建築、設計領域，也忘不掉大自然和動物之間的和諧之美麗與安逸。更忘不掉心中追求刺激生活的渴望......

我多想讀獸醫、動物學；我多想讀建築、看著自己手中素描品終於能變成3D模型；我也忘不掉看太多NCIS帶來的對幹員的憧憬想考國安局。但秤秤自己的斤兩，沒那個屁股不要吃那個瀉藥...... 我到底是想待在國內還是國外？學士後體系我考的上嗎？

老媽說：「興趣不能當飯吃。」

老爸說：「你不知道要做什麼？是不知道還是不曉得選哪一個？」

不知道選哪一個不就是不知道要做什麼嗎？

「你說不知道的話我會很驚訝，但如果是不曉得選哪一個，你可以說出來和爸爸媽媽討論，我們再給你意見。」

有些事是可以說出來討論；有些事是基於女兒的孝心與對您們的體諒，請原諒我無法說出來。

剛剛查了交大學士後建築研究所（MArch I），也找到些網路論壇關於這方面的資訊。

閱讀建築的十二本書

若可以的話，我要在畢業之前先去交大土木系修他們開的「基礎設計」課程，還要寫信跟該系的系主任報備一下。

然後看了大家的作品集...... 我頭都要昏了......

我要努力回想從我出生至今有什麼可放上檯面的作品好讓我說嘴的....................

看來真的要找時間修素描、油畫，還有水彩。

若找到一件事是你心所嚮，那花再多時間也無所謂。我還有兩年。

我還有兩年準備。我還有兩年思考。我還有兩年決定。

有人說人生的第16～22年是尋找自我、定義自我的時間；我希望屆時我能知道我在尋覓的答案。

禮拜日在高雄參加青輔會區域和平志工全國競賽時，聽到馬英九說了這麼一段話：

「很多哈佛的學生會有個gap year，他們會用這段時間去做自己想做的事，或是去旅行世界，就算回來之後要延畢、要補課業，但他們還是會去實踐自己的夢想。」

這種尋找的過程就是力量的累積。雖然人生只有幾個二十年，但我希望我能趕的上，在人生還能燦爛時盡情揮灑。

「天空越黑，我們就是那顆越亮的星」

或許我在尋找的答案我心裡早已有底，但卻沒勇氣面對。

也沒勇氣說出口......

我仍舊住在那侷限的paradox，打開窗戶、無限憧憬地望向那湛藍的天。

看著窗外無限的可能性；思索著手中握有的殘餘......

Black Muzzle, the Doggy Incarnation of George Clooney

Or Gerard Butler!!

十二月的哀愁

時光荏苒，一想到即將畢業卻充滿未知與恐慌。

永遠記得當初得知推薦甄試第一名成績進來的時刻，沒想到已三年。三年來只見到老師們一次；三年來又三屆畢業；三年來竟然已進入1990和1991......

問君能有幾多愁？恰似一江春水向東流：

• 人社系公演 - 最好看的就是票。我期待太多了。話劇。扯。悶。雖然只看上半場，但是我保證可寫一篇essay講出任何缺點和需要改進的地方。老話一句：「加油，好嗎？」The greater you expect, the greater you are disappointed. This world is just fucking lame. 漢魏六朝文朱曉海：「這個世界就是『俗』一個字了得。」越俗的人越愛。陽春白雪；曲高和寡。真正好的東西沒人珍惜，譁眾取寵的倒一堆。I cannot understand the standard of being an awesome play in Tsing Hua. 但我能期待什麼？這是一所以他媽的理工起家、人文領域只被大頭拿來說嘴的國際一流大學，妳以為是在北藝大或是台大、政大不成？這種東西在北藝大看誰會去看 = =

• Punky Girl Got a BF（？）- Still not sure about it. But that ambiguity is bloody killing!! Such a perfection of human beings should not be grasped by heart by worldly men! The absolute combination of pretty and beauty, stylish and casual, feminine and masculine... A masterpiece of elements should not be caught. It's airy.

• 又再一次證明人弱智的本能 - The deception of appearance, the deception of pretty. It cloaks their eyes. They see but they do not see. They admire but they do not admire. They praise but they do not praise. You just know it, because you are the only one who opens the heart to hear, the perceptions to feel, the eyes to see, and you do see the vanity of human world. You see the pathetic firmness of human nature. You finally realize everyone is its follower. You have no opportunity to turn it. It ain't a boomerang. It is a god damn straight ball with 180 km/hr. - Strike.

• The unsolved puzzle - Where is the future? Where is your future? Where is my future? Where is our future? Where is Taiwan's future? This society sucks. 媒體被視為政府的第四權，實施監督政府的職責。但如今，我們的媒體卻故步自封，整天報導小鼻屎鄉鎮的選舉、誰家的貓會走路、誰家的兒子吃番薯偷放屁、誰家的黑狗生了白狗...... 選舉選半天，台灣是會國際化嗎？除了北部以外的選區，全台灣的立委、民代、鄉鎮長候選人八成都沒大學畢業，更別提一堆國中肄業、高中輟學、專科肄業的阿貓阿狗。埋怨的人一堆、網路嘴砲的人一堆，說到責任沒人要擔，然後紛紛指向你我他。當官的進立院被那些立委當狗罵，就為了選票。有誰要出來？選舉選半天，人民吃飽了嗎？台灣獨立了嗎？台灣幹掉韓國了嗎？台灣統一了嗎？台灣變大了嗎？台灣變強了嗎？台灣沒地震了嗎？台灣不捧美國LP了嗎？台灣進步了嗎？

之前Brit Lit上到浪漫主義英國文人與政治思想家對法國大革命的評論。有人說這是自由的象徵，有人說這是秩序的崩毀。有人說全權的民主需要強而有力的規範、有人則繼續緬懷過往君王專制的美好。

而台灣，是否準備好來運作民主這高貴的自由真諦呢？

說這個太晚，而我也很尊敬那些為台灣民主自由而奮鬥的前輩。但是看到這社會被選舉給撕裂，我不禁懷疑台灣是否準備好迎接民主。但一切已來不及。

連我們最愛嚮往的所謂「民主自由大國」的美國，也只是代議政治；雖然我的米國捧油傑森曾跟我說過「美國的民主只是假民主」，但我很懷疑他是否真的支持像台灣這樣從小鄉長到總統都民選的「真民主」。

尤其美國人更多、地更大，貧富差距更是從珠穆朗瑪峰到馬裡亞納海溝......

你能相信你千千萬萬的同胞能夠運用自己的智慧來選擇嗎？

We are living in a vulgar democratic republic.

我無法相信。我只期待有天時間到了，台灣終於脫離這慌亂的時代。

不管你客家人、阿美族、達悟族、太魯閣族、福佬人；不管你外省人、本省人、原住民、新移民。不管你要待多久，你在台灣的這刻，就是與台灣牽繫在一起。

We are bound together on the same soil, breathing the same air, drinking the same water, under the same sky.

Does it really matter you are aborigines, and I am Mandarin Chinese?

每次看到學校餐廳在播的電視新聞就覺得很悲哀。我看到我們的社會被侷限在egotism。

仇視、操弄、敵對、族群。

媒體會這樣，是因為這樣才有人看。腥、羶、色。

整天報美國歐罵罵增兵回教徒大鬍子，啊不是皮膚都差不多黑，有什麼好看的？

說真的，你說客布爾，五成以上台灣人沒聽過，也指不出來在哪裡。I assure you with my ass.

• 看到很多人不知道自己喜歡什麼就讀研究所，說真的，我很瞧不起。大學是知識殿堂、是學術寶殿，是個你要用心去學的地方。不只是什麼愛情社團課業三學分、由你玩四年的playground。讀研究所是因為真心有興趣，想要更深入了解才讀的。而不是因為出來圖那個多兩三千塊的起薪、圖那個文憑、圖那個以為高人一等的成就感。身邊很多學長姊紛紛直升研究所，由其是理工學院的。我不禁納悶：你真的是想從事學術嗎？這種那麼理論、專業的東西，出社會後哪些小公司你看的上眼？

好像Byron有說過這麼一句話：越得到知識就越痛苦。

我想到 Charlotte Smith 在一首她在海邊崖上看到瘋子時寫的一首詩：

In moody sadness, on the giddy brink,

I see him more with envy than with fear;

He has no nice felicities that shrink

From giant horrors; wildly wandering here,

He seems (uncursed with reason) not to know

The depth or the duration of his woe.

來自她作於1799年的詩作 -

"On Being Cautioned against Walking on an Headland Overlooking the Sea, Because It Was Frequented by a Lunatic"

有時我真寧可當隻鴕鳥，頭埋在土裡裝做什麼都不知道。

從迦納回來後我忽然覺得我不屬於這裡。

This sudden realization makes me weep.

Woe for my country, because she cannot have me in her bosom, unless my siblings are tougher and wiser.

這種矛盾很痛苦。因為你知道你屬於這裡，但是又知道她留不住你。

我找不到方向。每條路看似康莊，你不知道要走哪。

你想離開，可是有條線勾住你的嘴角，不時地扯一下提醒你勿忘我。你留下，但是你知道錯過了什麼。

雖然外語公演很好看、也當了累死人的外場接待、青輔會的成果發表與競賽工作坊也拿到績優團隊獎金兩萬元、有某人來跟你商量紀錄片出版的事；但是你知道這些都不是你在尋找的。

做越多、看越多，想越多、傷越多。人生與這世界真是矛盾。

住在井底不可怕，最可怕的是不知道自己是那隻蛙。

好喜歡拜倫，雖然還沒研讀他的作品，但是一看到他在Manfred裡面寫到的這句話我就知道我會喜歡他：

Man is half dust, half deity, alike unfit to sink or soar.

這不就是事實嗎？