Egypt / Lebanon Montage from Khalid Mohtaseb on Vimeo.
http://kaiak.tw/?p=39025
cynical
有時候覺得 modern art 現代藝術像是 piece of shit 一塊屎。跟文藝復興時期、浪漫主義時期比起來簡直毫無技術可言，似乎只要有所謂的 being original「創意」就可行遍天下。
所以你說我這篇文章算不算一現代藝術？
「巧妙地將關鍵的英語詞彙融合中文翻譯，並加上那一具有神奇力量的槓，就連再無趣的抱怨也可詼諧逗趣。」
是不？
腦子僵掉
好久沒做事；綿羊當久了就會習慣這種被人帶領的生活。
之前事情太多，導致現在還是一片懶散。唉，明明就是該振作起來的時刻了！
總覺得四肢百骸鬆軟無力，連腦子都呆了。明明就是處理些自己最想作的事，卻連勁都提不上來，還要麻煩前輩幫忙。前輩說我輩的一些評語，就像一支支箭般射進我的心中。
是不是因為大四二十四學分的悲哀呢？還是我在幫自己找藉口？
下學期修少一點，會比較有勁嗎？可是我也好想修些課、上些以後就很少再學到的東西。
有時候會覺得像這樣懶懶散散地過活也沒有什麼不好。
沒處理什麼外務；有自己的時間看課外書；有時間漫步校園；有時間曬太陽；有時間做些很想打工的工；有時間和朋友聊天；有時間認識朋友；有時間打網誌；有時間看國家地理雜誌；有時間借電影來看；有時間逛大賣場買食物；有時間逛甜點店欣賞高熱量的美食。
有時間面對自己；有時間分析自己；有時間想想自己；有時間拿出勇氣看著自己，發堀出不願意面對的真相。
有時間..... 有時間...... 人越老時間過的越快。有的人是要拼了命地抓住青春的夕陽；有的人是要費命地將青春的正午綻放在人生的道路上。而我...... 要睡掉我的日正當中嗎？
很快樂也很羞恥，並帶著些許的罪惡感活著；每分每秒都活在懺悔中，並希望下一秒會更好。
Short notes on "Walden"
"In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
"If you would learn to speak all tongues and conform to the customs of all nations, if you would travel farther than all travellers, be naturalized in all climes, and cause the Sphinx to dash her head against a stone, even obey the precept of the old philosopher, and Explore thyself."
"The universe is wider than our views of it."
"Yet we should oftener look over the tafferel of our craft, like curious passengers, and not make the voyage like stupid sailors picking oakum. The other side of the globe is but the home of our correspondent."
"Direct your eye sight inward, and you'll find
A thousand regions in your mind
Yet undiscovered. Travel them, and be
Expert in home-cosmography."
"The sun is alone, except in thick weather, when there sometimes appear to be two, but one is a mock sun. God is alone,－but the devil, he is far from being alone; he sees a great deal of company; he is legion."
"She was probably the only thoroughly sound-conditioned, healthy, and robust young lady that ever walked the globe, and wherever she came it was spring."
"The value of a man is not in his skin, that we should touch him."
"Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other."
"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers."
"Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows."
"By a conscious effort of the mind we can stand aloof from actions and their consequences; and all things, good and bad, go by us like a torrent."
"If you stand right fronting and face to face to a fact, you will see the sun glimmer on both its surfaces, as if it were a cimeter, and feel its sweet edge dividing you through the heart and marrow, and so you will happily conclude your mortal career. Be it life or death, we crave only reality."
"When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence,－that pretty fears and pretty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality."
Casabianca -- Elizabeth Bishop
Love's the boy stood on the burning deck
trying to recite "The boy stood on
the burning deck". Love's the son
stood stammering elocution
while the poor ship in flames went down.
Love's the obstinate boy, the ship,
even the swimming sailors, who
would like a schoolroom platform, too
or an excuse to stay
on deck. And love's the burning boy.
Defense of Literature
People tend to think literature as unrealistic, abstract ideas. But the truth is that a good literature is always concrete. It links to our life with specific terms; so does any form of art.
人們傾向將文學看作不切實際、抽象的概念，但事實上好的文學一直
in memory of you
I'm always thinking of you when I'm alone.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm trying to be calm.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm silencing my vehemence.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm persuading myself not to cross this border.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm struggling with my understood self and the conscience.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm hesitating to fit in the general social perspectives and rules.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm distracted by the eclipse formed by shades of twigs and the dimming sunshine.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm staring at the water drop losing its gravity and pouncing at the earth with its all minute might.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm ignoring all those trivial interactions we've done so far but yet you'll probably never notice.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm having my every step forward on the path from somewhere to nowhere.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm fantasizing of all impossible possibilities that might come true in my wildest dream.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm having no enough pills to cure this pathetically unforgivable condition which causes me so much pain.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm wondering whether this world does exist someone like me who is striving to be understood by someone like you.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm hesitating what can be said and what cannot be said, and whom I can talk to or whom I can never find to talk to.
I'm always thinking of you when I'm deciding to let go of pieces of our trivial memory so my soul will never be completed but at least I'll probably be okay to move on without our future and past.
喔耶！
嘻嘻
即使文字無法表達我的興奮和雀躍，但還是要來抒發一下，這樣待會睡覺才睡的著！
終於和七年沒見面的 flora 見面，超開心的耶
我的枯萎靈魂好久沒這麼開心了，有種回到兒時的感覺
唉，時光飛逝！
耶耶耶～ 超激開心～～～
late rebellious youth
用頭髮來判斷性別是愚蠢的。
留短髮的原因有很多，但我純粹只是因為短髮對我來說很好整理，因為我有羯人的高鼻深目鬈髮，哼！
短髮可以修飾我的五官，又好整理，頭髮一下就乾了。就算每天都去運動流個滿身汗（的話）洗頭洗澡也很方便，哼！
剛剛走下樓梯有個女客人問走在我後面那個男的說我是男的還女的，然後一群人在那邊討論，我超生氣的啊！
不能因為我穿比較多遮蓋所有曲線，然後又因為沒有大衣所以我穿我哥的厚外套就說我是男的啊！
還說那個什麼「看那個頭髮」！
乾，我剪這個頭髮礙到你了喔？
講這麼大聲以為我聽不到嗎？
可以尊重他人的自由嗎？有需要為一個路人甲的事情而品頭論足或者是高談闊論嗎？
我人都還沒走開耶，可以給我當事人一點尊重嗎？蛤？蛤？
當下超想走進去觀景台，把層層外套脫掉，然後拿掉眼鏡，瞪著他們說：「乾，老娘是女的，你們這些需要被教育的俗子們！需要我脫給你們看我是男的還女的嗎？」
性別判斷一定要因為頭髮長短嗎？齁，超生氣的啊！
他人越是這樣想，或是問我為什麼要留短頭髮，我就越不想理他們，越是想與他們的期望背道而馳！
我留短髮我喜歡就好，啊干你屁事膩？
這個社會真的需要更多元的聲音和個體！
我留這個頭走在米國根本沒有人管你！比我更酷更炫的人到處都是！
台灣的俗子們，醒醒吧！不要口口聲聲地喊要人權、要自由、要民主、要多元！如果你們連這種視覺上的小衝擊都承擔不起，或者為一個人的性別這種攸關他人的隱私或是自由的事情而議論紛紛，那我們這個所謂自由民主的社會完全是假象。
自由要從尊重他人做起。
This fucked up society needs to be educated.
罪惡感
因為每天都不想讀書。每天下課後就完全失去動力和電力，只想趴在床上看課外書和上網，還有照相、運動、煮飯和逛大賣場和水果攤。
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| 充滿運動天份並反應敏捷的我，當然是坐在離地快十公尺的最上方囉 |
如果每天都可以跑出去玩就好了～ 像是有台車子，上面在著風浪板、衝浪板、趴板，禮拜五沒課就跑去南寮衝浪。
可惜南寮根本沒浪。台灣根本沒有幾個地方可以衝
那在成功湖 kyak 呢？？
怎麼可能... 只要不被風吹翻船就好了。就讓我人生中第一次 kyak 跟我的米國遊放在一起吧。
書都不想讀，考試也只圖過了就好，我好糟糕。這樣每天帶著罪惡感活下去，有點羞恥卻有點快樂。
暑假本該是快快樂樂放鬆的日子，我卻跑出去辛苦地讀書和旅遊好久。回來之後也就一直無法調適到正確的用功模式，我這是怎麼了？
是因為內心少了一塊所以如此這般嗎？
其實有人問我些問題，我也不知道該怎麼回答。我說了會被了解嗎？
其實大家都是人，只要有這個和那個，我並不在乎。
話說不滿才有詩意，你詩了嗎？
未來
想很多，想做的也很多、顧慮的也很多、聽到的也很多、被建議的也很多。但靜下心、放慢腳步，聽自己的聲音最重要。Know thyself.
然後一步一步地走下去，慢慢的達成計畫和目標，儘管路上旅人逐漸稀少。實現夢想的路上是孤獨的，因為只有你自己是和你的心在一塊兒。只有你自己聽的到你的聲音。
旁人的「建議」、從那兒和這兒來的「聽說」，世界上和社會上的環境讓你「顧慮」，但我相信我的理性判斷、內心自覺、腦中知識、生命經驗。
於是我還是堅定地踏下腳步，一步一步地完成規劃，邁向心中夢想的道路！
未來不就是這麼一回事嗎？
Blue Foundation - End Of The Day
Silence
Stretching out between us
I dream of a presence
With essence
And absence of doubt
Come closer
Come and stay with me now
Help me reconcile
Come and stay a while
And I will find a home
Because we love till the end
We love till the end of the day
Of the day
Distant
Shifty-eyed and restless
I dream of a presence
With essence
And absence of doubt
Come closer
Come and stay with me now
Help me reconcile
Come and stay a while
And I will find a home
Because we love till the end
We love till the end of the day
Of the day
"Nature is but an image or imitation of wisdom, the last thing of the soul."
-- Plotinus
