don't play games with me. i'm too transcendental to understand this worldly worry. love, hatred, happiness, and sorrow. they should not belong here. my mind / emotion / thoughts. i dislike this physical fragility. so is the unstable mentality. will of iron is what i would like to possess. total exclusion from any forms of human emotions and relations.

but i've realized that human beings have been forced to be social after hundred centuries of evolution. we can't live without community. even wolves have their own clans. even the loner of the century - emerson and thoureau - were married. even the queer of the century - woolf - was accompanied.

even when christopher mccandless set out a journey to the wild to re-possess the human essence, he found out that happiness is at its greatest amount when it is shared...

how pathetic human beings are. we can't even be a totally 'self-reliance.' we can't be a tree, or a strain of flower, or a rock. human beings are born to be together. together we form society, crimes, desires, vanity, fairness, jealousy, happiness, passion, greed, hatred, sorrow, and love...

so i've found it a tragedy to admit that i, as a human being, cannot live alone. i need a company more than a friendship. sad but true. god, how i loathe it to admit this. by admitting this, i've realized that how fragile, worldly, and weak i am. i can't even endure the years of solitude after my years of practices.

it's like a peril of my ideals and expectations. perhaps i was just being to surrealism. it's time to get myself back on the ground.

accept yourself so you can accept the world.

every wolf has its own clan. that is the rule of the nature.