dig deep

Wearing this black serene cloak of night, I sit here to dig deep into my mind...

I cannot understand. Totally.

Who am I?
What do I like?
What can't I be the way the depth of my heart wants me to be?
Why am I confined?
Why can't I have this courage to be my true self?
Why can't I just be honest to my self and the bloody naked truth?

Don't I possess enough freedom to allow myslef to sprint with the truest passion?

I think LA, SF, and NY are my destination. But will I really think so when I make myself there?
Do I still breathe with ease and comfort as I am now here in TW?
I believe they will offer me freedom to do what I want, to enjoy what I love, to be who I am...
But will it really work out that way? Will it? Will I fit in?

What do I really want?

Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom...

Freedom.Freedom. Freedom. Freedom....

Freedom. Freedom.Freedom. Freedom...

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.Freedom...

...Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

...Freedom.Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom...

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

Freedom.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

The azure.
The infinite creativity.
The boundless possibility.
The fucking amazing freedom an individual can possess throughout their life...

Hell knows how I am going to be!
Hell knows...
Just give it a try. Just go after it. The instinct.
Just go hunt for it like a hound chasing after the smell of blood, intenseness, pleasure, excitement, senses, and wherever the nature beacons...

Fuck it the outside judgement.
Fuck it the pressure of crowd.
Fuck it the old behaviors the doomed world already owns.
Fuck it the biased observation which is in the disguise of so-called 'the objective'...
Fuck it the hypocrite. Fuck it the hypocrite. Fuck it.


You cannot cage an eagle because you cannot cuff its heart.

--- Karina L.T. Sun (2009)